When I get asked which actress I would like to play me in the biopic of my life, I would say Carey Mulligan (this is of course in some bizarro alternate universe where my life would be interesting enough to have a movie based on it and also, where I’m white). Some suggestions I got from others: Ellen Page, Zooey Deschanel, Ellie Kemper, Michelle Williams, the girl who plays Rory Gilmore (and then I get a bit offended because I find most of the people on the list slightly annoying). But I feel I relate to Carey because there’s something light, but also heavy about her. She seems emotionally weighty, but not brooding. She’s likable and delicately charming without feeling fake (this part is what I aspire to be, not necessarily what I am). She’s also not exceptionally pretty, but attractive in her own right (it helps that she has a cute accent).

I also love most of the movies/roles she’s been in, but the Carey Mulligan role/movie I relate most to would be “An Education” – one of my favorite coming-of-age movies I revisited recently.  For those who haven’t seen it, its about a young clever high school girl who has a bright future ahead of her, but gets whisked away by the marvel and promises of an older, worldly man.  Something about the almost silly, precocious airs she puts on and her desire to be so “french and sophisticated” reminds me of myself at younger age (and even now frankly). The movie itself is so dreamy and ethereal as Carey’s character Jenny wears fancy outfits that her lover buys her and the romantic trips (to Paris!) he takes her on. But then (spoiler alert!), her world comes crashing as she learns he is already married. She is heartbroken and devastated, especially after she has seemingly given up so much (losing her virginity, dropping out of school).

A movie with a similar storyline that I reference frequently is “Shopgirl” with Claire Danes and Steve Martin. Again, a story about a younger woman who falls head over heels for an older, wealthy cultured man.  Again, she gives herself fully and wholly to this man, and he can’t respond to her emotional needs & her level of commitment. In the end, he ends up feeling guilty for hurting her and ends up paying for all her school loans. (I would always say in jest that I wouldn’t mind some emotional damage in exchange for loan repayments…)

But I think the great thing about both of these stories is that the female protagonist (though they don’t come out of their situations unscathed) are able to heal from their experiences and move forward. Their romantic excursions (or detours, some might say) might have been damaging, but these experiences also helped them realize their emotional limits and weaknesses. A part of them is broken, but ultimately their spirit hasn’t been deflated.  Jenny ends up going back go school and pursuing a college education at Oxford the following year, and Claire Danes’ character decides to explore a career in art and start working at a gallery. And they both presumably find themselves in healthier relationships with guys their own age, who may not be as refined but are more (awkwardly) sincere.

So moral of the story: Don’t fall for older men. (Just kidding.)

I did love this last line/montage from the “An Education” though: “So, I went to read English books, and did my best to avoid the specky, spotty fate that Helen had predicted for me. I probably looked as wide-eyed, fresh, and artless as any other student…But I wasn’t. One of the boys I went out with, and they really were boys, once asked me to go to Paris with him. And I told him I’d love to, I was dying to see Paris… as if I’d never been.”