Exactly one year ago, I posted this rather cryptic message on my old blog:

Now I feel like I can finally disclose that it was the first page of my LSAT book, which I honestly barely cracked open…I bought it for the aesthetics of its packaging (the book had nice font/design) rather than the content.

I can’t believe that a year later, I’m here on my way to visiting law schools I’ve been accepted to. It’s crazy to think that several small sparks can turn into a huge life change.

And what were those small sparks?

There were plenty of things, but before I get into that, I feel that I need to make it clear that I never thought I would want to go to law school. Some people grow up thinking/knowing they want to be lawyers. I can barely get into an argument with someone without bursting into tears (my brother can attest to this). It was never even a potential in my mind when thinking about careers throughout my undergrad or even my post-grad years. I thought I wanted to be a journalist (hated my short stint in broadcast journalism at UCLA), then potentially in PR (the worst!), then maybe something in museum curation (but my internship at MOCA diverted this dream), then seriously considered being a librarian (to the point where I even attained my Library & Info Science degree). Then somehow I got swept into digital advertising as a move cross-country put me in desperation mode for any full-time position.   The past several years have served me well, especially moving from agency life to the publisher side. I rarely feel stressed at work, and I am surrounded by fun, relaxed, and likable people. It’s a great job with great perks.

But then strangely, in the past year and a half, there have been odd (almost sneaky) ways that God has been changing/opening up my heart towards this completely unexpected path. There were series of things that I’ve seen and watched that piqued my interest in the legal field and in criminal justice specifically. Every time I tell people about my impending career change, they usually respond by saying “It’s because of Serial, wasn’t it?!” And I admit I was a little overly obsessed (and annoyingly vocal about my obsession) with the podcast, but that was just the tip of the iceberg. There were a lot of different little sparks that led me to the place where I am: picking up random books about prison inmates (both fiction/nonfiction) at the “library” in my office to watching documentaries on mass incarceration to creating a true friendship with my prison penpal (that is a whole other story in and of itself).

However, it wasn’t until I picked up “Just Mercy” by Bryan Stevenson, the founder of the Equal Justice Initiative, that my sentiments spurred into action. I felt stirred, moved, and outraged for this vulnerable population who were misunderstood and deprived of proper representation. I was brought to tears as I read about the tragic stories of prisoners who died without a fair trial as well as redemptive ones about those who were exonerated. Those stories led me to a path of realization that I wanted to do something… that I needed to do something. (If you don’t have the time/investment to read Stevenson’s book, at the very least, listen to his Ted Talk).

I know the path ahead of me won’t be easy. It won’t involve free concerts, comfortable work-life balance, or even a large paycheck. In fact, the months even leading up to taking the LSATs and applying to schools have been some of the roughest months of my life. I have forgotten what it felt like to take standardized tests and thought I was going to have panic attacks multiple times. I frequently felt anxious to the point where I would wake up with my heart feeling like it was beating out of my chest (something I have never experienced before). I think this constant state of anxiety was taking a toll on my body & health, as I lost around 10 pounds through the course of a couple months.

But somehow, even through the self-doubt, the stress, and the anxiety, I can’t deny the doors that have been opened for me. I feel like performing well on my test and even getting into schools (and scholarships) have been God-given miracles. I remember one day I opened up the bible for the first time in a long time to Hebrews (my favorite, go-to book), and Chapter 13 verse 3 said “Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body.” This might not mean much to you, dear reader (if you’re still here), but 13 and 3 are my favorite numbers (I was born on 3/13), so it felt like that verse was written just for me.

I’m still pretty terrified of what the future holds, but at the same time, hopeful of what it’ll bring.

So stay tuned.