I’m embarrassed to say that I neglected writing in here for the whole first semester, but that’s just an indication of how rough 1L first semester really was.  That’s a lie; I did have time to write in it (especially in the beginning/middle of the semester), but I couldn’t figure out how to log back into the account.

So how was my first semester in law school?

It’s hard to say… when people were trying to prepare/dissuade me from going back to school, they all warned me about how painful that infamous 1L year was. So I did expect the absolute worst.  When I was in the thick of reading/finals period, the struggle felt excruciatingly accurate, but now (not even two days past my last final), it didn’t seem all that bad (but then again, I tend to be really good at blocking out/forgetting painful moments).

To be completely honest, these past six months have been one of the most difficult life chapters(?) I’ve experienced, not solely because of school but a slew of personal issues. Maybe if other areas of my life weren’t hurting, school itself wouldn’t have been too bad. But I’m one of those unfortunate people where compartmentalizing doesn’t work too well, and when one (especially relational) area of my life is affected, it just tends to spread and leak into other areas as well.  Not to be melodramatic, but there were periods of this past semester where I really did feel I was at the lowest of lows, and though I live in a familiar city with a pretty large circle of friends, I felt incredibly alone and isolated.

There were so many moments where I started second-guessing my decision to go back to school, especially when I thought about how relatively cushy and laid-back my life was back when I was working @BuzzFeed.  While in school, my body/brain felt exhausted all the time.  There were days when I would be in bed from 9pm-9am, and this is coming from someone who used to average 5 hours a sleep per night.  In my downtime, I would look at instagram/snapchat/facebook and envy pretty much everyone else’s seemingly carefree and lavish lives.  I even started growing incredibly envious of the lives of my friend’s babies (not a worry in the world…).

So I had to keep drilling in my mind how lucky I was to be here… to be gaining valuable knowledge from renowned professors in the midst of bright, gifted peers.  I feel that I really lucked out this semester with the professors that I had; my Criminal Law professor, who seemed quite intimidating at first, is extremely passionate and somehow manages to balance a powerful, yet also approachable presence. Our Civil Procedure professor is a quirky, little lady (who seriously seems like she can teach at Hogwarts) and actually performed some type of wizardry magic to bring life into the dryest material.

Every professor gave us an inspirational pep talk on the last day of class, telling us what a great profession this is, not to be discouraged by the current political climate, and how each of us have bright futures and a great responsibility ahead of us.

That’s what it is. Need to think big picture. This year is just a hazing period, and all I have to do is survive.  Perseverance!

But for the next three weeks, I’m ready to be come a semi-vegetative blob. Off to La-La-Land!